German has two ways to say "I love you", and mixing them up can be awkward. Ich liebe dich is for your partner, said with weight. Ich hab dich lieb is warm and safe: parents say it to children, friends say it to each other, and grandmothers sign off phone calls with it.
This page goes from the first date to the wedding card: how to ask someone out, what couples call each other, and the words for being together, missing someone and breaking up.
Saying I Love You
I love you.
Ich liebe dich.
I love you, to family and friends
Ich hab dich lieb.
I love you too.
Ich dich auch.
I'm in love with you.
Ich bin in dich verliebt.
I've got a crush on you.
Ich bin in dich verknallt.
I fancy you.
Ich steh auf dich.
You mean a lot to me.
Du bedeutest mir viel.
Practice these words
Ich liebe dich.
Not too early: Germans tend to save Ich liebe dich for when they really mean it, often months into a relationship. Saying it on the third date can feel like a lot. Ich mag dich sehr, "I like you a lot", is the safer step before it.
HDL in a text message is Hab dich lieb. Teenagers and families use it, and HDGDL, Hab dich ganz doll lieb, is the extra-strong version.
Asking Someone Out
Would you like to go for a drink sometime?
Hast du Lust, mal was trinken zu gehen?
Shall we meet up again?
Wollen wir uns mal wiedersehen?
Are you free on Saturday?
Hast du am Samstag Zeit?
Can I have your number?
Kann ich deine Nummer haben?
I had a really nice evening.
Ich hatte einen richtig schönen Abend.
Shall we split the bill?
Wollen wir getrennt zahlen?
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Hast du Lust, mal was trinken zu gehen?
Who pays? On a first date many Germans split the bill, and waiters often ask Zusammen oder getrennt? without thinking twice. Offering to pay is kind, but insisting can come across as old-fashioned.
Falling for Someone
to fall in love
sich verlieben
in love
verliebt
love at first sight
Liebe auf den ersten Blick
butterflies in your stomach
Schmetterlinge im Bauch
to flirt
flirten
a date
ein Date
to be together
zusammen sein
a long-distance relationship
eine Fernbeziehung
heartbreak
der Liebeskummer
to break up
Schluss machen
Practice these words
sich verlieben
Watch out: mein Freund usually means "my boyfriend", and meine Freundin "my girlfriend". For a friend, say ein Freund von mir or eine Freundin von mir. Germans themselves sometimes stop to check which one you mean.
Liebeskummer is the ache after a break-up. It's a word people use openly: Sie hat gerade Liebeskummer explains why a friend has gone quiet.
German Pet Names
| Pet name | Literally | How it's used |
|---|---|---|
Schatz | treasure | the classic, by far the most common |
Schatzi | little treasure | softer, a little playful |
Liebling | darling | warm, a bit more old-fashioned |
Maus | mouse | very common, also for children |
Hase / Häschen | hare, bunny | sweet, mostly for women and children |
Bärchen | little bear | cosy, often for men |
Spatz | sparrow | affectionate, also for kids |
Schnucki | (no meaning) | silly-sweet, often teased |
Schatz works in every situation and every age group, from a teenage couple to a couple married fifty years. If you only learn one, learn this.
Missing Someone
I miss you.
Ich vermisse dich.
I miss you, softer
Du fehlst mir.
I'm thinking of you.
Ich denk an dich.
I can't wait to see you.
Ich freu mich auf dich.
Sleep well, my darling.
Schlaf gut, mein Schatz.
A kiss for you.
Ein Kuss für dich.
Practice these words
Ich vermisse dich.
Du fehlst mir literally means "you are missing to me". It sounds softer than Ich vermisse dich, and many Germans find it the more tender of the two.
Getting Married in Germany
- Verlobung: the engagement. The engagement ring is often a plain band, and the couple are verlobt.
- Standesamt: only a civil wedding at the registry office is legally valid. A church wedding, if any, comes on the same day or later.
- Polterabend: a party before the wedding where guests smash old porcelain for luck, and the couple sweep it up together. Glass and mirrors are left out, because they're said to bring bad luck.
- Junggesellenabschied: the stag or hen party, JGA for short. Expect matching T-shirts and a group selling shots in the old town.
- Trauzeuge / Trauzeugin: the witness, roughly the best man or maid of honour. Witnesses aren't legally required any more, but most couples still have them.
What to Write on a Wedding Card
Congratulations on your wedding!
Herzlichen Glückwunsch zur Hochzeit!
All the best for your future together.
Alles Gute für eure gemeinsame Zukunft.
We wish you lots of love and happiness.
Wir wünschen euch viel Liebe und Glück.
To the happy couple!
Auf das Brautpaar!
Practice these words
Herzlichen Glückwunsch zur Hochzeit!
Cards are usually handed over with a present or money. A gift list is common too, and asking the couple Habt ihr eine Wunschliste? is perfectly normal.